Beating the blues...

Very often in the course of our ordinary lives we are confronted by the dreaded blues...a sudden crippling fear that paralyzes and makes us suddenly unable to get up and move on with our day. An anxiety attack that has us asking strange questions and undermines our self confidence...and makes us wonder whether we are actually good enough at all or can actually measure up.

It does not take a major catastrophe to bring us to this sorry pass. As human beings we are constantly seeking validation and endorsements - a pat on the back for some job well done, a commendation from the people we work with, a few words of encouragement that we get from our friends and peers - all of these go a long way to boosting our self-esteem and adding that 'feel good' factor to our days. However, when we allow the the world around us to tell us whether we are actually good enough or not, we are setting ourselves up for more hurt and despair.

Despair - a dreadful word and one that fills us with a sense of foreboding. We are often told to guard against it. "Stay positive", "Look on the bright side", we are often advised...but I have a theory about this. The more one is asked to guard against this feeling, I believe living in the 21st century automatically sets one up for this nameless dread. We don't know what to expect. We may go through the paces - toil through our days, filling in time at work, with family, with friends, doing the chores that are expected of us, believing we are free an uncertain future. Simply because we may have salted away something for a rainy day. Or perhaps because we see our kids doing well at school or in their chosen field of work. But remember, that these are not the factors that should ideally make us happy. These are just small pebbles on the long road of life. A typhoon could blow away your carefully salted savings. Bad company, poor judgement, bad luck,  or indeed some inherent challenges might stymie the performance of your children at school or career. Remember the age old saying - to thine own self be true. Isn't it so true when it comes to quantifying happiness and beating away the blues?

What I realize as I grow older is that such age-value systems and banking on others to help you feel better about yourself - could be truly detrimental to any long term happiness. Fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, husbands, wives and any of the rest of our extended trust circle are too busy in the course of a given day fighting their own battles and winning their own rewards. While they may be perfectly willing - or not! - to lend you a ear, and listen to you rant and rave - they are not the cover you will need in the long journey that is life.

We need to know our worth first and foremost. Everyone is good at something, everyone has some winning potential. Wake up in the morning and tell yourself that you are amazing. This may not get you any brownie points with the world at large - but you will score big with yourself. Be a leader. Be happy. Be the one that the world leans on for a change. And the watch yourself rise in style, stature, happiness. Happiness might be a state-of-mind, but you could reinforce your happy mindset by giving yourself that much-needed pat on the back.

In pursuit of happiness....Until the next time!