You Know You've Been In Dubai Too Long When.....

...You decide to take the elevator rather than the stairs to cover the smallest distances - You are on a desert safari and start looking anxiously all around for a Pepsi and McDonald's as relief from the heat ( and you probably will actually find it too!). Your competition with your girlfriends includes issues like which of you got the cheaper duplicate bag from Karama ("How much did your Chanel set you back?" is the nature of these questions!!) - You invite friends home and get take-away's - You wait for the weekends and then cannot wait for the week to begin again - You take in a dose of retail therapy no matter what the time and day to beat the "blue" feeling - You choose to live a life beyond your means and then wonder where the money is all going, You tell yourself this is only a temporary thing, and then find you are stuck with a car loan, a housing loan, and a maxed-out credit card! You think it is is exceedingly backward to actually pay for a purchase with cash - "What, no credit card? Not even a debit card??") .....You come into town young, nubile and naive and leave old, wizened and grey! You believe it is not only fun, but really vital to visit all the new shopping malls that mushroom one to the month! You cut traffic lines and raise your hands in obscene gestures if anyone has the temerity to honk at you from behind! You choose to speak your own version of the Queen's English, liberally peppering it with words and phrases from India, China, Australia, Timbuctu! You consider a BBQ to be an absolutely tame affair unless it's got "spiked" soft drinks and lots of it. You believe that Polite Conversation is actually asking your friends / acquaintances about their visa status, salary and how many houses they own back home! You think the weather's fine when it's a blazing 35 degrees in the shade.....Your best dreams involve moving into a Villa, a three-bedroom apartment with a maid to pick up the pieces for you and a chauffeur thrown in for good measure!You start dividing the years on the basis of the Ramadan, Eid, Summer and then some! You decide that the Shawarma could be standard fare on any dinner menu. You pay lip service to stopping pollution and greening the planet and then in the same breath decide that Dubai is so cool in planning the world's first air-conditioned beach and boasting the world's first indoor ski resort! You break up your day with what you did prior to, between and after shopping trips, You have to own that perfect piece of jewellery which you will never use. You have to buy books that you will never read, and accummulate them for all to admire.......and if they ask you what it's about, just say..."Oh, that one I am still reading!")......You enjoy coming back from a holiday so much more than going for a vacation back home! :)